Kicking Trees
A friendly reminder to do your part!
2007.
A time of vile commercials.
A time when we foolishly valued critical thinking.
When we encouraged individual defiance instead of herdthink.
When we thought that being a “normie” was to go along with the senseless, the moronic, even the tragic.
How backwards were we?
Thank goodness we’re enlightened now. We know that “going along with the herd” is just a nasty way of saying “being a good citizen”. And doing your civil duty means doing whatever your society requires of you.
Like kicking trees.
See, the makers of this commercial just didn’t get it.
The point of kicking trees is not to make sense or to “accomplish something” (which is such a white supremacist concept, anyway). The point is to do your part. To play along. To show you’re on board with the program. Even if, and maybe especially if, that program seems senseless.
You may think that some people, or even trees, might get hurt. We can assure you that kicking trees is 140% safe and effective.
Effective at what? See, there you go with that thinkin’ brain again!
You don’t need to worry whether what you’re doing is wrong or stupid or destructive… or has any point whatsoever.
Hell, it may even seem suicidal.
Not your concern. The experts have studied tree kicking for years and found it to be beneficial for you and society at large, since you are learning to play nice.
You may even think that perhaps your time and energy are better spent on alternative activities. But what could possibly higher priority than kicking trees with your fellow slaves prisoners comrades?
I mean, quit it, y’all!🤭
What that despicable, tone deaf commercial failed to show is that in real life, the people kicking trees are quite content. They’re performing an easy, safe, repetitive task, for which they are not required to think.
Studies have shown, time and again, this is what people want.
You don’t have to worry whether to buy what you are being sold, whether its a corporate product or an idea. You just buy it, no questions asked. “As long as it doesn’t interfere with my tree kicking,” says the good citizen.
Amen.
Why worry about the forest? Just continue to focus on that tree in front of you, and get kicking, brother/sister/themster.
We’ve even got elected office holders to ensure that we go on kicking trees and will tell you what a great job you’re doing. Don’t worry, its okay to stop kicking long enough to applaud. And don’t forget to boo and hiss at the opposition, too. Really let them know how you feel. They’re bad people, after all, who want nothing more than to take your right to kick trees away.
The trees aren’t going to kick themselves, amirite??
Of course, there will always be a few antisocial, tinfoil-hat-wearing anti-kickers screaming about how we should stop kicking trees, but do they have degrees from our oldest and most established schools? I mean, who are you going to listen to, the ravings of an uneducated anti-tree-kicker nutcase, or someone with a degree in Advanced Arboreal Combat, with multiple peer-reviewed papers to their credit?
Turn off that tiresome thinking brain, citizen!
Everyone has to do their part.
So strap on your best steel toes (and your approved n95), and get out there!
Give those trees Hell!
This message has been brought to you by the Prince-Overlords of the Nine Circles of Hell and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
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Yeah, it's such a stupid time.
At least there are ways to market it.
We must be close to breaking this house of mirrors, right?
Very good, especially as "they" hate to be the object of satire... :-)