Hey Pfizer. Your Pants Are Down. (Again)
Some well-meaning advice for supervillain profiteers.
Hey Albert, and all the execs at Pfizer. How’s it going?
Not so good, I’m guessing.
Seems the villagers are at the gate. Strangely, they’re not bearing flowers and gifts of adoration.
These are more the torch and pitchfork-wielding variety.
But I wonder if you understand why?
If you haven’t retreated to your supervillain bunkers already, I imagine you’re having some heated boardroom discussions to that effect right now.
Allow me, if you will, to shed some light on this for you.
You see, back in a different era of our lives, known as 2019, everyone and their dog knew you were supervillains.
In a survey of the 25 least-trusted institutions, guess who won top spot?
If you guessed “pharma corporations”, you win. You guys actually beat out advertising and public relations (people paid to lie), and the federal government (also people paid to lie).
And of course Pfizer in particular had the distinction of being the most criminally-fined corporation in history. Way to go. Although, this is a little bit like “winning” a Least popular contest, or being voted Most likely to be pushed down a well.
But despite your massive unpopularity, you had these guys used their covid neuralyzers on us…
…and your future looked bright.
But some of us blinked.
And we couldn’t help but notice a few things.
For starters, you guys aren’t the most forthcoming with your data, are you? Like… you really, really don’t want us looking at it.
In fact, you even withdrew your product from countries that wanted to look at data and studies before buying it.
In a similar move, Uruguay’s courts demanded information about the contents of your shots… so you withdrew from Uruguay.
And you tried to have your stooges pals, erm, colleagues at the FDA hide your trial data from public for 75 years:
Now, I wonder why that would be?
In a move of similar transparency, when the European Parliament requested your contracts this is what they got: hundreds of blanked out pages.
Look, I’m sure you guys are super-confident in your product and the ethics of your business dealings.
But it just isn’t coming off that way, you know what I mean?
Despite all the effort you poured into hiding this stuff, well, things have a way of getting out, don’t they?
Like your own biodistribution study which found that lipid nanoparticles from the shot have been found in every organ in the body, overwhelmingly in the ovaries. Which means your reassurances that the contents of the shot stay localized to the injection site was a bit of a fib. Whoops.
And your vaunted trials had some problems which people picked up on right away: like skipped safety protocols, wrong clinical endpoints, inadequate control groups, gaming the statistics (by only testing on young healthy people and excluding riskier groups), and completely ignoring increased illness in the trial arm. This video detailed your hijinks:
(And sharing this video earned Dr. Robert Malone his Twitter ban.)
And that claim of 95% efficacy. Wow, what were you guys thinking? We already knew outcome reporting bias was an old pharma trick, going many years back. It took someone all of about three seconds to point it out. Just in case you guys forgot, here’s a video explaining why your 95% is utter hog’s piss:
Oh, and even with all the statistical shenanigry, your early report still showed that your shot had a 300% increase in risk of adverse events—including death—in exchange for that 0.84% risk reduction for contracting covid—a risk to benefit ratio that’s not just low, but obscene.
Then whistleblower Brook Jackson revealed the poor practices and deception used in your trials, including falsifying data, unblinding the participants, and not following up and testing participants who reported symptoms (as reported in the BMJ):
Phew, hard to explain that one.
And then that darned federal judge ordered your trial documents released anyway, and we started to examine them.
And we found much, much different efficacy calculations:
And we also found a horror show of adverse events:
Which is probably why Albert wouldn’t take the shot himself:
In fact, there were so many adverse event reports showing up in the first three months after rollout that you guys hired 600 full-time employees to deal with the paperwork. (And strangely bragged about it).
And some very smart people examined the data for your product and showed how it actually demonstrated zero efficacy.
And we saw that the shots disable natural immunity and cause re-infection:
And disable your body’s ability to repair and fight off cancer:
And that you are 13 times more likely to become infected post-shot, than if you had naturally acquired immunity:
Now, all of this was fairly damning, and should have been all over the news for everyone in the world to react to in horror.
But thankfully for you guys, you own the news:
So, in maybe the most egregious pot-and-kettle-swap ever, you went on the news that you own and called anyone who criticized your product criminals.
And you pulled a deliciously clever fast one by having the FDA (and your MSM drones) announce a “full approval” for your product, which was actually not the Pfizer shot everyone was taking, but Comirnaty, which is not actually available. That’s called a bait-and-switch, AKA fraud. (Some of us noticed, however).
Oh, and we also noticed how you twisted the data for your product to make things look favorable for use in 6-month-old to four-year old children.
And this meme is apt since even your former executives think you guys are probably Satan-worshippers:
Then, in October of last year, this embarrassing bombshell dropped:
And there went every last shred of rationale behind mandates or any sort of “public good” argument for your product.
Nonetheless, despite no public benefit for your product, you guys strangely decided to brag about all the billions you had made off the public.
22 billion, wow. Good for you guys. Wait… in ONE QUARTER?
Anyone who says: “But it’s free!”… well, if 100$ billion is “free” I’ll take my check right now. Thanks.
Oh, and you’re quadrupling the price.
Perhaps sensing a coming public backlash, Albert tried to distance himself from his R&D people:
Though, in an unscripted moment at Davos, he wouldn’t answer some fairly simple questions:
Then, back on script, claims you are monitoring for safety signals, and have not found a single one.
Pfhew. Good thing Pfizer is on the case, right?
Which brings us up to the present-day scandal…
Your R&D Director admits on camera that the company is doing directed evolution (i.e. illegal gain-of-function) research on the virus to preemptively make new vaccines for those variants.
Of course, you deny this in a press statement. But then in mid-denial you admit you are doing it.
Oh, and your guy also admits on camera that the mRNA might linger in the body and be affecting menstrual cycles:
Well, we kind of did already know that, going back at least a year:
Oh, and here’s you shoving some journalists around and avoiding more questions while you meet with the Republican Governor’s Association.
Meeting with lawmakers behind closed doors. Always a sign of a reputable company standing or falling based on the quality of their products, and definitely not based on hidden political influence.
Yeesh.
Not looking good, guys.
This is all Guilty People Behavior 101.
The thing about super-villains is they’re actually good at getting away with it. You guys, on the other hand, seem to have been caught with your pants down. A lot.
So, sorry, but I think we might have to strip you of the “super”. Turns out you’re just garden variety scum-sucking villains. Kind of incompetent ones.
So, here’s my advice.
I remember reading that you and other companies were almost out of the vaccine game, given all the liabilities, and then the PREP Act introduced a liability shield, which enticed you back in.
But given where you’re at, you know, all those torch-wielding villagers… well, maybe you should consider getting out, after all.
Maybe get out of the villain game altogether.
Do something more innocent. I don’t know, make children’s toys or something.
Actually, no. Come to think of it, don’t do that.
Don’t make anything for human use or consumption.
Dissolve the corporation, and the many contractors and sub-corps. Sell off the holdings. Liquidate everything.
I’d say use the proceeds to pay off your billions of victims and their families, but you and I both know that won’t happen until there’s a gun to your head, so… my advice?
Get to work on those bunkers.
James’s eyeballs hurt from all the media in this post. A coffee would help, though…
Fantastic compilation! Sharing this out. Methinks some new subscribers will be coming your way ... Thank you James
I am jumping of joy hearing that finally Pfizer is losing power!